Proposal on 'Marriage Protection Amendment'

The momentum is gaining for amending the US constitution to "protect" marriage by defining it to be a union of a man and a women. Here is the text of the proposal introduced in the senate on June 25, 2008, taken from the Library of Congress website:

Proposing an amendment to the Constitution of the United States relating to marriage.

    Resolved by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled (two-thirds of each House concurring therein), That the following article is proposed as an amendment to the Constitution of the United States, which shall be valid to all intents and purposes as part of the Constitution when ratified by the legislatures of three-fourths of the several States within seven years after the date of its submission by the Congress:

`Article --

    `Section 1. This article may be cited as the `Marriage Protection Amendment'.
    `Section 2. Marriage in the United States shall consist only of the union of a man and a woman. Neither this Constitution, nor the constitution of any State, shall be construed to require that marriage or the legal incidents thereof be conferred upon any union other than the union of a man and a woman.'.

Lets look at some of the interesting cosponsors of the bill who are hell bent on protecting the institution of marriage.
  1. Sam Brownback, also know as god's senator, a fiery conservative who even opposes abortion in cases of rape and incest.
  2. Larry Craig, the toe tapping and wide stanced bathroomer from Idaho, who is still not gay. He claims he just overreacted and made a poor decision after his 2007 arrest for alledged cottaging in Minneapolis airport mens restroom. I don't know why the media keeps asking him "Are you gay?" instead of being smart and asking "Are you bisexual?"
  3. James Inhofe, the proud family man, in whose recorded family history, there has never been a divorce or homosexual relationship. This global warming denying republican, also has his own crackpot theory on how 9/11 attacks were god's punishment on USA for not supporting Israel enough!
  4. David Vitter, who was implicated in the now famous DC Madam scandal for using her escort services. The porn magazine Hustler found Vitter's phone number in DC Madam's prostitution service records. On contacting his office, the response was "This was a very serious sin in my past for which I am, of course, completely responsible. Several years ago, I asked for and received forgiveness from God and my wife in confession and marriage counseling. Out of respect for my family, I will keep my discussion of the matter there - with God and them."
So there you go. All it takes to protect marriage is a team or moral crusaders consisting of god's own senator, a still not gay married guy, a crackpot theologist and a sinful married guy whom god (and wife) conveniently chose to forgive as always. You just need to ask for it and he immediately grants you one as long as you are willing to accept Jesus in your life.