6/28/2008

Proposal on 'Marriage Protection Amendment'

The momentum is gaining for amending the US constitution to "protect" marriage by defining it to be a union of a man and a women. Here is the text of the proposal introduced in the senate on June 25, 2008, taken from the Library of Congress website:

Proposing an amendment to the Constitution of the United States relating to marriage.

    Resolved by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled (two-thirds of each House concurring therein), That the following article is proposed as an amendment to the Constitution of the United States, which shall be valid to all intents and purposes as part of the Constitution when ratified by the legislatures of three-fourths of the several States within seven years after the date of its submission by the Congress:

`Article --

    `Section 1. This article may be cited as the `Marriage Protection Amendment'.
    `Section 2. Marriage in the United States shall consist only of the union of a man and a woman. Neither this Constitution, nor the constitution of any State, shall be construed to require that marriage or the legal incidents thereof be conferred upon any union other than the union of a man and a woman.'.


Lets look at some of the interesting cosponsors of the bill who are hell bent on protecting the institution of marriage.
  1. Sam Brownback, also know as god's senator, a fiery conservative who even opposes abortion in cases of rape and incest.
  2. Larry Craig, the toe tapping and wide stanced bathroomer from Idaho, who is still not gay. He claims he just overreacted and made a poor decision after his 2007 arrest for alledged cottaging in Minneapolis airport mens restroom. I don't know why the media keeps asking him "Are you gay?" instead of being smart and asking "Are you bisexual?"
  3. James Inhofe, the proud family man, in whose recorded family history, there has never been a divorce or homosexual relationship. This global warming denying republican, also has his own crackpot theory on how 9/11 attacks were god's punishment on USA for not supporting Israel enough!
  4. David Vitter, who was implicated in the now famous DC Madam scandal for using her escort services. The porn magazine Hustler found Vitter's phone number in DC Madam's prostitution service records. On contacting his office, the response was "This was a very serious sin in my past for which I am, of course, completely responsible. Several years ago, I asked for and received forgiveness from God and my wife in confession and marriage counseling. Out of respect for my family, I will keep my discussion of the matter there - with God and them."
So there you go. All it takes to protect marriage is a team or moral crusaders consisting of god's own senator, a still not gay married guy, a crackpot theologist and a sinful married guy whom god (and wife) conveniently chose to forgive as always. You just need to ask for it and he immediately grants you one as long as you are willing to accept Jesus in your life.

6/26/2008

Sex is way more popular than Rama or Krishna in India

Check out google India trends from 2004 till now in the plot below. Its a terrible news for all the self appointed moral policers in India. Inspite of all their enthusiasm and efforts, porn, mp3 and sex still seems to be way way popular than Rama or Krishna.




Some other interesting statistics from google India trends are
  1. Kerala tops the search index for sex related queries like sex, intercourse and oral sex, Madhya Pradesh for porn and Punjab for mp3. The software geek state of Karnataka is not even in the top 10 for sex related searches. Karnataka takes the consolation prize by topping the searches for java!
  2. Kerala is the most "breast friendly curious" state and Punjab the most "boob friendly curious" state.




If there is a god popularity contest right now, Krishna will kick ass. What surprises me is that on a scale normalized to Rama, Jesus scores 2.1 and Allah just 0.3. I don't know how to explain this given that the muslim population is around 13% and christians are only about 2%. Either muslims don't give a shit about Allah (which I doubt) or it just points to the abysmal level of internet penetration in the muslim community.

On a more interesting and global scale, Pakistan tops the search queries for sex followed by Viet Nam, Egypt and India. Romania is at the top position for oral sex followed by India. Now comes the interesting part. India and Pakistan are global leaders when it comes to genitalia or mammary gland curiosity. Pakistan is at the top and India second for intercourse, boobs and breasts. For some reason, Pakistanis are not aware of the word vagina or penis (IP filtering?). They are not even in the top 10 in these searches. Indonesia takes the gold and India the silver for vagina. And finally, India takes the top spot for penis thereby making it the most gayest country.

Conclusion: Indians and Pakistanis are currently the horniest underground creatures on this planet inspite of not making in the top 10 horniest countries list in an askmen.com survey.

6/19/2008

Bal Thackeray and Hindu suicide bomb squads

"It was heartening to know that it was the supporters of Hindutva who had exploded the bomb in the theatre. But it was sad to know that it was planted to hurt the Hindus and I am ashamed about it."
"The need of the hour is to plant a strong bomb in Bangladeshi bastis (slums) that have mushroomed in Thane and elsewhere in Maharashtra,"
Hear the glorious words of aai-f****r Shiv Sena supremo Bal Thackeray. Is this guy for real? These lines seem straight out of his donkey arsehole connected to his stomach rather than his mouth and brains. Its really ridiculous. One 22 year old Rahul Krishnakumar Vaid was charged (thanks to the Indian Penal Code, the India IT Act and google) and potentially faces 5 years jail time for posting "obscene" stuff about Sonia Gandhia in an orkut community called "I hate Sonia Gandhi". And Thackeray dude goes free no matter what!





In any case, I am wondering how the volunteering process to become a Hindu suicide bomber be. From recent trends, it looks like if you are are Hindu Marathi Manus, you can probably jump ahead the line to enjoy the heavens. And since this Thackeray arse wants to counter Muslim bombs by Hindu bombs, he better match the incentives. At the minimum, 72 sexy and virgin Marathi Bais (or Marathi Hunk Manus if you are a gay volunteer) as a reward in heavens for their martyrdom.

Jai Maharashtra, Jai Hind!

5/06/2008

Why are Indians so touchy about Bush/Rice statements?

These touchy desi media are just giving stuff its own spin for rating purposes. Here is the snippet of the official statement which Bush made (available completely at http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2008/05/20080502-8.html )

Worldwide there is increasing demand. There turns out to be prosperity in developing world, which is good. It's going to be good for you because you'll be selling products into countries -- big countries perhaps -- and it's hard to sell products into countries that aren't prosperous. In other words, the more prosperous the world is, the more opportunity there is.

It also, however, increases demand. So, for example, just as an interesting thought for you, there are 350 million people in India who are classified as middle class. That's bigger than America. Their middle class is larger than our entire population. And when you start getting wealth, you start demanding better nutrition and better food. And so demand is high, and that causes the price to go up.

There is no blaming going on here at all. Moreover, above two paragraphs are a part of a whole section on various reasons behind rising food prices. The above statement should be taken as a compliment rather than getting pissed off.  At the end of the day, sound economic reasoning is not blaming!

Its far easier for our politician babus to bug Manmohan Singh to "respond" to Bush than for them to take more significant steps to increase farmland productivity and storage/distribution efficiency which are currently at pathetic low levels. That Bush is just echoing what economists are saying does not matter to them.

Do check this article out

Did Condoleeza Rice blame India/China?

Gives a nice expose of our desi commies and hypocritical socialists like Congress and BJP who are always looking for a opportunity for US baiting for vote politics.  Just to give some background,  Condoleeza Rice was asked a question at the Country Directors Conference of Peace Corps about the increasing foodgrain prices. She pointed her four reasons for this and here is her second reason. 

Secondly, we obviously have to look at places where production seems to be declining and declining to the point that people are actually putting export caps on the amount of food. Now, some of that is not so much declining production as apparently improvement in the diets of people, for instance, in China and India, and then pressures to keep food inside the country. So, that’s another element that we have to look at.
Again, there is no blaming going on here. But that does not stop our media from making statements like Blame it on the poor. 

2/05/2008

Raj Thackeray and his idiotic monkeys

Check out Whose Mumbai is it?.  A bunch of hooligans from the Maharashtra Navnirman Sena(MNS) go about beating up anybody from North India. Raj Thackeray even goes on to say "Maharashtrians cannot be silent spectators while Mumbai is flooded with unwanted migrants."  Wtf is this supposed to mean? We are suckling cry babies when it comes to incidences like treatment meted out to Shilpa Shetty  etc. But look at how we are treating each other.

Maharashtra is part of India (and yeah, that includes amchi Mumbai as well) and the monkeys at MNS should realize that our constitution guarantees any Indian to move freely and settle anywhere without any worry. We don't need a license from a (retarded) mentally challenged Raj Thackeray to go about freely in Mumbai. Yeah, it sucks when somebody asks you for your last name and then beat you up if it does not match up with their database!

My friend Rajesh tells me that the timing is perfect for Raj to play his Marathi-Manus stint. The central government is about to release its figures on suicide rate of farmers in India and Maharashtra tops it shamelessly. I hope this is more than just a pure coincidence. 

-------------------------------------- --------------------------------------
Article 19 of Indian Constitution
  1. All citizens shall have the right -
  • to freedom of speech and expression;
  • to assemble peaceably and without arms;
  • to form associations or unions;
  • to move freely throughout the territory of India;
  • to reside and settle in any part of the territory of India; and
  • to practice any profession, or to carry on any occupation, trade or business.
-------------------------------------- --------------------------------------

The only hope is that this is a small number of underemployed people who go around stoning and burning. 

1/29/2008

It doesn't take much to write nonsexist prose.

Dr. Madhavan Nair, the chairman of ISRO, India's national space agency is giving a talk in Caltech on February 4, 2008. The title of the talk is India Space Program - Future Perspectives and here is the abstract copied and pasted.

Starting with the achievements of ISRO in the last four decades, Mr. Nair shall talk about the sound infrastructure that India has firmly established in space and how it continues to meet the growing national needs in telecommunication, TV broadcasting, meteorology and management of natural resources and earth observation. Mr. Nair shall discuss the plans of directing efforts and resources aimed at exploring space, which is seen as the next frontier for the humankind. He will also talk about the missions, although initially unmanned, that the Indian Space Program has plans to undertake to the moon and beyond. Later, ISRO aims to send a man to space and bring him back safely. This lecture will also discuss the efforts initiated within ISRO towards realization of advanced space launch vehicles, aimed at low cost access to outer Space.
The thing which struck me immediately was "ISRO aims to send a man to space and bring him back safely". Its 2008 and we are still stuck with a sexist language. This, despite the fact that we cheered and joyed when Commander Williams visited India last year. The government of India even set up a scholarship in her name and declared that Sunita Williams is an ideal role model for the youths in India. Dr. Nair's abstract above can be compared to JFK's speech of 1961 when he said

I believe that this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of landing a man on the moon and returning him safely to the Earth.
This too is sexist. But JFK lived way back in 1961. USA has come a long way. Compare JFK's speech with the 2004 speech of Bush.
As our knowledge improves, we'll develop new power generation propulsion, life support, and other systems that can support more distant travels. We do not know where this journey will end, yet we know this: human beings are headed into the cosmos. (Applause.)
No where in the speech is the word "man" used. Just simply "humans". You might argue that I am being unfair, comparing Dr. Nair's speech with Bush's. After all, Bush is only repeating what his speech writers wrote. Dr. Nair does not have a speech writer. In my defense, it really doesn't take any effort to write nonsexist prose in 2008. Especially when its coming from a chairman of a premier organization in India and a former Padma Bhushan prize winner. I am not claiming that Dr. Nair is sexist or anything. Just that ones writings usually reflects ones thought process :)

1/12/2008

Delhi court rules women are dumb

Just came across this article at CNN-IBN titled "Sex after false promise of marriage is rape: Court". The Delhi court sentenced a man to seven years in jail for having consensual sex with a woman. Here is what additional sessions judge Mahavir Singhal had to say
The so called consent under a false promise to marriage is no consent. Accordingly, the consent obtained in establishing physical relationship like husband and wife under false promise to marry the latter is no consent as per law.
In other words, women are dumb and its very easy to mislead them. All you need to do to get them to sleep with you is to promise them verbally that you will marry her, or buy her a saree or a diamond ring. Here are some other ridiculous implicit assumptions made in the case.

  1. Sex is bad. Consensual sex between adults is rape. How about the following situation. A husband "promises" that he will buy her dumb and hot wife a diamond ring in return for sex. After sleeping with her, he decides not to buy her one. Looks like our Mahavir will label this to be a case of marital rape.
  2. Its 21st century and India is still having a huge patriarchy hangup. Women should still be treated like nursery kids and "protected" instead of empowering them.
  3. Once you verbally "promise" to marry someone, its a legal contract you are getting into. You are stuck with it and not allowed to change your worldviews etc. Even if you figure out that the person is not your "ideal" choice, you are supposed to marry since you "promised" her.
  4. Consensual sex means the man is sexually "exploiting" the women even if she has actually enjoyed the contact.

Man, I really wish god takes away dear Mahavir Singh before he does more damage to our society.